Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Campaign for Real Books: Apocalypse Edition

An argument for paper-based books in a post-apocalyptic world...

365:365 My Head Full Of Tomorrows

Insulation

The next ice age is upon us, make sure your home is properly insulated, or at the very least line your walls with books. The dense paper will help keep what heat you have inside. Will also help dull the noise of your neighbours who are no doubt arguing because they have no books.

Electricity Shortage

We've finally depleted the world's fossil fuels and electricity is in short supply. Paper-based books continue working without a power source. Really. I'm not lying. Laugh at your neighbours as they trying and read Lord of the Rings one page per week on their all-singing, all-dancing, power-hungry tablet.

Keep Zombies at Bay

Full bookcases are rather heavy and will prove an obstacle to any lumbering zombie. Barricade doors with your bookshelves to stay safe. Will also deter passing looters.

Electromagnetic Pulse

Everyone else might be panicking. No internet, no bank accounts, no iTunes, no ereaders. You can be smug with your paper-based books. They still work!

Banned Books

If your government has decided to ban every book with words they don't like, you'll have to go under the radar to download your favourites or even keep them on your ereader. You could switch off your wifi forever but be sure that Big Brother is always watching you. However, paper-based books can be bricked into wall cavities, sewn into mattresses or hidden in underground vaults if you're rich. It only takes one paper copy to keep the book in existence, it's practically your duty to store them up now, before it's too late!

Sanitation

In extreme measures, you can even use the books you never really liked that much in place of toilet paper. All books also come with a few free blank pages to use in emergencies.

Got more apocalypse busting tips? Send them in via carrier pigeon.

7 comments:

  1. Hahaha! So funny and all so very, very true!

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  2. hahahaha - I love it!! You make some excellent points!

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  3. LOL! The funniest part is that you made entirely valid points. Awesome.

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  4. Wonderful post. I also think books make great fuel in case of electricity/gas shortage.

    I do need an extra book case to keep the zombies out, I think. What a great excuse!!

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  5. Too funny! All very good reasons but the best is a paper book is a 'device' that always works.

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  6. Foods supplies got short, had to eat the pigeon, how's your skills with smoke reading?

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