Friday, 31 August 2012

The Cold Kiss of Death

The Cold Kiss of Death is the second book in the fabulous Spellcrackers urban fantasy series by Suzanne McLeod. This review will contain spoilers for the first book, The Sweet Scent of Blood, and really they do need to be read in order!

Sidhe Genny would love to be left to live her life in peace. But now both the vampires and the lesser fae of London know who she is, they just won’t leave her alone and her witch neighbours would like to see her evicted. To make things worse, her local baker is murdered; killed by sidhe magic. And the only sidhe in town is her…

I frowned at her breasts and realised I recognised her: Hannah Ashby, human, top City accountant and self-certified vamp-flunky, a.k.a. business manager.

This world just keeps getting better, expanding on existing characters and introducing some great new ones. I just love that there’s a kelpie living in the River Thames! The river and its banks become entwined with the story, the setting becoming a crucial part. I always enjoy settings that I know well too (yes, I seem to spend a lot of time lurking round the river when I’m in London). Genny even pops down to the Clink Museum at one point, filled with ghosts of course.

We get to learn a lot more about the curse that binds the lesser fae in London and out of the Fair Lands, as well as Genny’s family secrets. There are naiads and dryads to be added to the mix, and Grainne who appears to Genny as a large, silver hound. We are introduced to the moths, venom junkies who risk everything in the seediest parts of Sucker Town (a.k.a. Greenwich) for a hit to the carotid.

Then there’s Genny vampire alter ego, Rosa, who plays an important part to the plot. Malik is absent at the start and Genny is convinced it’s because of her connection to Rosa. But never fear, Malik does return further on and we learn more about his love hate relationship with Rosa and what’s really going on when Genny takes over her body (something she is trying not to do, but you know, fate always gets in the way). If you’re on team Finn, he gets his fair share of airtime too, with Genny trying to patch up their friendship and maybe more…

You can read sample chapters of all the books in the series on the Spellcrackers website.

Goodreads | Amazon | Waterstones

Thursday, 30 August 2012

The Assassin's Curse

Ananna of the Tanarau, daughter of pirates, is about to be married off to the beautiful Tarrin of the Hariri. She has never trusted beautiful people and when she spies a loosely tied up camel in the market, she grabs her chance and escapes on its back. She takes no heed of Tarrin’s threats to send an assassin after her, after all, assassins were only threats that her father gave her when she was misbehaving. She remembers tales of blood magic and men that move in the shadows. No one would send an assassin after her, a worthless pirate girl, would they? But when Ananna comes face to face with the assassin in question she inadvertently saves his life, activating a curse; he must protect her or face great pain.

I was up at street level now, surrounded by fruit trees and vines hanging with bright flowers. The air in Lisirra always smells like cardamom and rosewater, especially in the garden district, which was where Captain Hariri kept his manor. It was built on a busy street, near a day market, and merchant camels clomped past its front garden, stirring up great clouds of dust.

The Assassin’s Curse lives up to its elegant cover; an Arabian Nights styled fantasy adventure spanning desert and ocean. I was sucked in to Cassandra Rose Clarke's world immediately and didn’t want to leave. Ananna may have grown up amongst pirates but she is still young and a little na├»ve. But she manages not to go all mushy over boys and she’s got such great attitude despite being in a difficult situation. Who wants to be tied to an assassin after all?

Ananna’s mannerisms sneak into the narrative, with double negatives and speech that echoes that of an uneducated, Victorian maid. This does give the impression that she is speaking directing to the reader, telling a tale just as Scheherazade might do but I’m not entirely convinced it is consistent with the more evocative writing in places. Still, I’m sure most younger readers won’t even notice this and it doesn’t detract from this wonderful tale of adventure and magic.

Beautiful people, things are too easy for ‘em. They don’t know how to survive in this world. Somebody’s ugly, or even plain, normal-looking, that means they got to work twice as hard for things. For anything. Just to get people to listen to ‘em, or take ‘em serious. So yeah, I don’t trust beautiful people.

There is a tendency for young adult novels to veer toward romance, but this isn’t that girl meets boy story at all. Girl runs away from boy, gets stuck with another boy she doesn’t really like. Ananna would much rather be captain of her own pirate ship. She’s a plain girl and she doesn’t expect boys to fall for her, and Naji, the assassin, is no exception. I absolutely loved that this was a classic fantasy adventure tailored to a teen protagonist.

The pace is a little off nearing the end. Just when it should be reaching its nail biting climax, it slows off and the two characters plod around doing mundane things for a few chapters. Elements were undoubtedly important to the ongoing story but, dare I say it, I got a bit bored, and this odd section is the only thing stopping me giving this book five stars. Otherwise I loved it.

The Assassin's Curse is published by Strange Chemistry and will be available in paperback and ebook formats from 4th October 2012. You can also read an extract here. The sequel, The Pirate's Wish will follow next year. Thanks go to the publisher for providing a copy for review.

Goodreads | Amazon | Waterstones

Wednesday, 29 August 2012


As I don’t believe I should only blog about the books I like, I’m going to share a couple of books that I didn’t finish and the reasons why. No book can be loved by everybody after all and maybe you’ll see something in these that you would enjoy. I am more than happy to pass them on to UK guest reviewers, free of charge if you fancy giving either a go.

I picked up Bed of Nail as part of my Paris in July reading and I think my lack of engagement with it is why I did so badly with my personal goals. The concept sounds good; Parisian suicide squad with offbeat characters and a talking parrot. Overall I found it a bit odd and there is an over use of “had” which makes the prose feel a bit clumsy. I don’t know if this is just the translation or the intended style but it wasn’t for me. A shortish book, I gave up at page 102.

A positive review @ Reader Dad

Goodreads | Amazon | Waterstones

The second book I gave up on is The Bend in the Sky by D.S. Morgan. I will struggle to summarise the plot as I haven’t the faintest idea what is going on. There’s an intergalactic rock concert for life forms that are possibly infinite, a man on earth that goes into a pub, an infinite debt with a dangerous loan shark and something that’s about to destroy the earth. It really feels like it’s trying to be Hitchhiker’s Guide and missing the mark by a longshot. There are a lot of made up words and things and no clear explanation, without the handiness and plain talking of The Book. There are a few glimpses of satirical humour but I just found it too hard going. I’m sure it would appeal to a certain type of sci-fi reader that takes the gobbledegook in their stride. It may have improved greatly as I only made it to page 75 before saying enough is enough.

Goodreads | Amazon | Waterstones

Tuesday, 28 August 2012

The Sweet Scent of Blood

Genny is sidhe, a noble fae living in London and she has a secret, well perhaps more than one. She works for Spellcrackers, a witch run organisation which helps remove spells for their clients. Genny’s fae magic means she can see the spells and unwrap them but she’s not so good at casting them herself. She blames this on her condition, infected with V3, vampire venom which draws her close to the very creatures she wants to avoid. When a celebrity vampire is accused of murder, she finds herself being coerced into investigating…

The Sweet Scent of Blood marks the start of an addictive urban fantasy series by Suzanne Mcleod. Her world is full of magical creatures but grounded in a very familiar London. There’s plenty of brooding, handsome vampires but Genny doesn’t go all swoony and I love her attitude throughout. Even when she has her moments of weakness, she seems to give herself a mental prod to keep her on the straight and narrow. There’s just the right amount of sexy without it descending into porn.

The plot is twisty and turny, with lots of interesting and potentially suspicious characters. It’s a classic mystery with a supernatural twist and a smattering of humour. I loved that there was an office bet to find out if Finn, the satyr, has a tail underneath his glamour and that the goblins bling themselves up. It’s a fantastical and well thought out world that I just didn’t want to leave.

I liked her use of V3 as a medical condition. Vampires can choose to inject their venom when they feed which creates willing blood slaves. The venom acts as a drug which not only makes them more attracted and attractive to vamps, but affects them physically; causing their red blood cells to multiply…more food for the vamps but also dangerous if they don’t let blood on a regular basis. Of course, Genny being fae, she is extra tasty.

The Sweet Scent of Blood is published by Gollancz and is available in paperback and ebook formats. There are currently four books in the series, with The Shifting Price of Prey being released this week. Thanks go to the publisher for providing a copy for review… I loved it so much I promptly went on to buy the next instalment on Kindle to carry on reading straight away!

Goodreads | Amazon | Waterstones

Monday, 27 August 2012

Slash and Burn

Guest blogger: Bex @ Futures

I didn't realise at first that this book was actually the 8th in the Dr Siri Palboun series and the fact is you can't really tell from reading it - the book works just as well as a stand alone book. Set in Laos in Asia not long after the Vietnam war has ended, this story focusses on the story of a missing young American helicopter pilot who crashed ten years previously into a Lao village. Dr Siri Palboun is an unlikely candidate for a main character, he is nearing his eighties, yet it is often his age that brings the story together; encouraging others to confide in him and tell him whatever he may need to know.

Siri is summoned to a meeting where he is told he will have to join up with various other high-profile Lao citizens to work with a team of US military and political figures in a bid to find out just what happened to Boyd Bowry - long missing son of the now Senator Bowry. Siri is blunt yet kind in this response; after an incident a few months before, he is unwilling to join the mission unless he can choose his own team to work with. Most people would be shown the door but Siri, being the only coroner in the whole of Laos, is soon granted his wish and a multi-national trip begins in a bid to settle this mystery for once.

The multi-national trip is a subject matter dealt with very delicately by the author; both sides are reluctant to trust each other after the events of just a few years before. They are, however, united in trying to uncover the truth. If Bowry is dead, why hasn't his body or helicopter been found? If he is alive, why hasn't he communicated with his father? There are a whole round of questions waiting to be answered and Siri aims to do just that. Communication amongst both nationalities is a little stilted in place; both have to use interpreters to communicate questions and discoveries. There are also a fresh round of questions which pop up during the story as one of the team is found dead in very strange circumstances and a Senators safety is compromised. Whilst digging for the answers, Siri must also deal with the revelation from Bpoo, local cross-dresser and spiritualist, that he is to die on this mission...

This book was definitely one I was looking forward to reading and I was a little surprised to find that the leading character was a elderly man just months off retiring. As the reader, you encounter many twists and turns (and occasional red herrings) as you try to get to the bottom of this baffling mystery; surely a man cant just disappear?

The interaction between certain members of the team is amusing and light hearted in parts which makes a nice break from the dark goings on which haunt this story. It is refreshing to see American politics told from the other side; finding out just what happens behind closed doors. It is hard to imagine that a mystery novel can be based around such subjects as cross dressing, the supernatural and an elderly mans conspiracy theories, but these are all crucial to the story.

The ending was well timed and well developed; it was unexpected and leaves you chomping at the bit for more. I hope to read more of the Dr Siri Palboun novels as the characters and location are different from the norm and provide a much needed break from the crime-ridden streets of England and America. This is definitely worth a read; take a chance on the unexpected like I did, you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Slash and Burn is published by Quercus and is now available in paperback and ebook formats. Thanks go to the publisher for providing a copy for review and to Bex for reading and reviewing for me!

Goodreads | Amazon | Waterstones

What to do with a negative review?

You have put your beloved book out into the world; you are going to get some people that don’t like it. That’s OK, we’re all entitled to our opinions and a few negative reviews are not going to ruin you. They are just going to help the right people find your book!

Ignorance is bliss

Many writers will say they don’t read reviews and this is a perfectly valid way to not have to deal with them. But if the marketing and publicity of your book is in your hands, it may be difficult to pretend reviews don’t exist. You may want to enlist someone who is not quick to make rash judgements to do an initial assessment on them first.

Sleep on it

Never react in the heat of the moment. You might be angry or upset at someone’s comments but that feeling will likely fade as the adrenalin leaves your body. Wait until the next day and if you still feel like you need to say something, do so in a thought out and logical manner. Authors that are courteous in their responses are much more likely to be given a second chance and also show potential readers that you’re a lovely, normal person instead of a crazed lunatic.

Make use of constructive criticism

Paying attention to what your readers think can help you make your book better. I don’t think reviewers should be acting as the role of editor, but where that crucial third party edit hasn’t happened, an aggregate of opinions can highlight the areas that really need work. Constructive criticism should be absorbed and used to make your next book better.

Change marketing

If you’re feeling that your book is being misunderstood and has landed in the hands of the wrong audience, this is a sign that your marketing needs work. Did you blanket request reviews or did you hand select bloggers that loved the same kind of books? Is your cover reminiscent of a sub-genre that’s nothing like your book? Can you change the blurb to be more reflective of the style of your writing? Did you compare it to a bestseller and leave people feeling let down by the lack of similarity?

Don’t draw attention

Really, if you don’t want people to see negative reviews, don’t draw attention to them. Pointing out that so-and-so has said horrible, mean things is going to make more people read the review and any of them with half a brain will take on board the criticism in the review. Egging on your fans to retaliate only makes you look bad and will get your fans into trouble. The network of readers online spans far and wide and we do talk to one another.

Don’t dig yourself into a hole

If you’ve made a mess of things, know when to apologise and to be grown-up enough to say you were wrong.

And remember Marmite…

Disgusting stuff but apparently half the population think it’s ambrosia. It’s still a hugely successful brand and product. We like to call books that split opinions, Marmite Books. You’ll either love it or hate it and that kind of discussion is what fuels sales. If people just read your books and go, that was good, and never mention it again, it’s going to fade away into the background. If opinions are divided, people might just read it to find out what side of the fence they fall on.

Sunday, 26 August 2012


AKA Showcase Sunday

As most of you know, I attended the Strange Chemistry launch this week and returned with a goodie bag and signed copies of two of their forthcoming titles. As I have already reviewed Shift it doesn't really count as an extra book, does it? Some other fantastic sounding books in the post this week too...

For Review:
The Sweet Scent of Blood by Suzanne McLeod (Gollancz)
Amity and Sorrow by Peggy Riley (Tinder Press)
The Guard by Peter Terrin (MacLehose Press)
Katya's World by Jonathan L Howard (Strange Chemistry)

The Double Shadow by Sally Gardner

Showcase Sunday is hosted by Books, Biscuits & Tea.

Saturday, 25 August 2012


Shadows is the sequel to Ashes and therefore this review will contain spoilers for the first book.

“You need us and you get to be the boss of how we feel, who we decide to care about? We go out, we take all the risks! We die out there while you sit here in your robes and judge us, and it’s still not enough. You want everything.”

At the end of Ashes Alex had been sent out of Rule as an offering to the Changed. Shadows will keep you in suspense for a few extra chapters as the start picks back up with Tom, who Alex was convinced she had left to die in an old shed. Instead he has been taken in by an old couple and nursed back to health. But what he wants more than anything else is to see Alex again, if there’s any chance she’s still alive he must find her.

Meanwhile in Rule, Jess is in a coma and Chris has serious injuries. The girls are told he was thrown by his horse but there is something fishy about the elders’ story and Lena knows it. She might not be the brightest spark but her constant nagging soon gets her a bit closer to the truth. Is it safe for her to stay there?

And Alex, surrounded by the Changed; the children who now crave human flesh and are becoming organised. Dressed in wolf skins, they resemble a pack and have found themselves weapons and souvenirs. The leader of the pack, who Alex nicknames Wolf, takes a special interest in her and she is terrified that she recognises him. Is it possible? Is she about to be eaten by someone she once called a friend?

Shadows is action packed and filled with horror. It’s certainly not suitable for young readers and there are moments which will go beyond some people’s comfort zones. Cannibalism is not pretty and Ilsa J. Bick does not gloss over it in any sense, filling the pages with violence and gore. There’s a lot of half-truths and full out lies which can make the plot a little confusing at times. I’m still not entirely sure why Lena and Chris left Rule, except that as the reader with all that extra knowledge, I know that it’s a bad place to be!

I did enjoy the other perspectives this time. Still told in third person, the narrative focuses on three different groups of characters rather than just Alex. There are a lot of connections, between Rule and pretty much everything else, and you do need to pay attention to keep up. There is also a small portion given over to Peter and an experimentation storyline which didn’t quite fit here. Not that I don’t think it is viable in this world but just that it didn’t add anything at this time. I suspect it will fill out in the third book of the trilogy.

Why was Wolf keeping her alive? Just so he could be the one to end her? Terrific. This might not be any more complicated than what you did with an ice-cream sundae. She didn’t know a single kid who didn’t save the cherry for last.

Whilst the Changed (or Chuckies as they are often called) were portrayed simply as blood thirsty creatures in Ashes, they do start to form personalities here and evolve. Like Alex, you start to connect to Wolf in a tiny way and I was disappointed not to find out what happened to him. He was eating people alive and for some reason I care! There was something said that was either an outright lie by a character or could have hinted to Wolf’s current circumstances. I’m hoping this loose end get picked up in the next instalment.

I don’t think horses are quite as fragile as you would think from reading this. There are plenty of times when a horse trips up and, SNAP. I don’t think they would have been such useful domesticated creatures throughout history if they broke that easily and it’s not like they are all riding fine boned Thoroughbreds. Once, yes, believable but I found it was a bit over used. They could have just thrown their riders and run away.

Despite so much going on and a large cast of characters, the pace speeds along and the climax is gripping. The ending definitely feels like a lot of things have been left hanging for the next book but it isn’t a giant cliffhanger like in Ashes. I felt more disappointment on behalf of the characters than myself as a reader and I will be looking forward to finding out what happens next.

Shadows will be published in the US by Egmont (hardcover) and in the UK by Quercus (paperback) on the 25th and 27th September respectively. Thanks go to Egmont USA for providing a copy for review via NetGalley.

Goodreads | Amazon | Waterstones

Friday, 24 August 2012

Strange Chemistry Launch

Strange Chemistry are go! A huge thanks to Amanda Rutter for inviting me to their launch party last night. It was great to mingle with authors and bloggers alike (and some booksellers too). We had readings from Kim Curran, Jonathan L. Howard and Laura Lam. There was even popping candy and tiny unicorns! I think we can all agree that we love the unicorns in the goodie bags.

The five launch titles are:

All the books will be available in paperback, audiobook and a variety of ebook formats so you can read them whichever way you like best. Amanda also hopes to get involved with Angry Robot's Clonefiles initiative which provides a DRM-free ebook for anyone buying the paperback in participating bookshops.

Following on from the launch titles (released during September, October and November) will be Broken by A.E. Rought and Pantomime by Laura Lam. I can't wait for Pantomime of which we got a taster of last night; circus fantasy!

Of course, you all want to know what was in the goodie bags, don't you? I believe the Angry Robot USB stick holds top secret information on how the robots will take over... or extracts from Pantomime and Broken.

Thursday, 23 August 2012

Extract: The Assassin's Curse

The Strange Chemistry launch party is here! I am so lucky to have been invited to the event this evening. Squee! I will report back tomorrow but in the meantime, here's a sample of one of their forthcoming titles; The Assassin's Curse by Cassandra Rose Clarke.

My Strange Chemistry Reviews:
Blackwood - Gwenda Bond
Shift - Kim Curran
More to follow soon!

Wednesday, 22 August 2012

Go To Sleep

When a one night stand with an ex leaves Rachel pregnant, she decides to go ahead and have the baby by herself. She is a strong, independent woman, she will be a great mother. But as the sleepless hours tick by, she starts to resent baby Joe. Why won’t he just go to sleep?

Go To Sleep is an incredibly honest look at the stress a baby can put a woman under. Determined to cope by herself, Rachel shuts everyone else out but soon she finds how difficult things are when she has to do every little thing with a small, crying person in tow. Without support, she gets less and less sleep and the stress starts to get to her. She’s not bonding with Joe and she wishes there were something wrong with him that can be fixed. As she starts to unravel, the tension mounts and it’s a real page-turner despite the fact that not a lot really happens.

Joe is not hungry, not interested in my breast. He just wants me. That's what this boils down to. On some basic level he's worked out that my role is to nurture, his is to take. He doesn't need me for anything right now, he's taking because he can. I leave him on the bed, watch him a while. Thrashing. Outraged. Sobbing so hard his larynx starts to vibrate. I catch sight of myself in the bedroom mirror and cave. I'm scared. I'm really scared. Cope, Rachel, just fucking cope.

Rachel works as a social worker in Liverpool and I really liked this side of the story too. We only see a little bit of her working life before the birth but it is something she just can’t let go of. Her kids need her and whilst she is not in a position to be rescuing them, I admire her for it. I guess it’s easier for her to help them than help herself. It also highlights some of the racial tensions of the area. Joe is mixed race and Rachel suspects her father of being racist, of disapproving of her ex and shutting him out.

If I was under any doubt as to not having children, this book would be a great reminder why they are not all sunshine and roses. Women who think a baby will “fix things” should certainly read it! I’m not a huge fan of books focusing on new mothers, as they tend to be a bit sentimental or imply motherhood is the sole purpose in life for the characters, but this couldn’t be further from that. I did find the chapters covering her labour a bit much although I am sure they are more realistic than any other novel. Yes, chapters, and it’s hard for her. I read in disbelief as the hospital turned her away again and again, but I imagine busy, city-centre hospitals have to work that way. Perhaps mothers will appreciate the reality check. It’s not a bit of deep breathing and out they pop!

Go To Sleep is published by Canongate and is now available in paperback and ebook editions. Thanks go to the publisher for providing a copy for review.

Goodreads | Amazon | Waterstones

Tuesday, 21 August 2012

The Garden of Evening Mists

Guest blogger: Jo @ Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost

The Garden of Evening Mists by Malaysian author Tan Twan Eng is beautiful, haunting and deeply moving. It has very deservedly been long-listed for the Man Booker Prize 2012, as was the author's first novel The Gift of Rain in 2007.

This is the story of Teoh Yun Ling, the second woman judge to be appointed to the Malaysian Supreme Court. Retiring from the bench after 14 years of service she decides to record her experiences as a young woman while she can still remember them.

The only survivor of a Japanese slave labour camp in which she was interned at the age of 17 during the Second World War, her hatred of the Japanese and grief and guilt for her sister who did not survive are the defining aspects of her life in the following years.

Six years after she leaves the slave labour camp, she travels to Yugiri 'the only Japanese garden in Malaya.' Here she attempts to put aside her hatred of the Japanese to seek the assistance of the former gardener of the Japanese Emperor, Nakamora Aritomo in designing the Japanese garden her sister had dreamed of building. He refuses to design it for her, but offers to take Yun Ling on as an apprentice so she can learn the skills required to create the memorial garden herself. Studying the Japanese Art of Setting Stones with Aritomo in the Garden of Evening Mists she is in the shadow of another war, as communist terrorists fight for independence from British rule. However she finds she is learning far more than just the art of Japanese garden design.

As Yun Ling sets down her memories on paper, she discovers there may have been more to Nakamura Aritomo than she had known. Can she piece everything together before it is too late? Is she able to at last find the peace she has sought for so long?

Starting off slowly, the story becomes more and more gripping the further you get into it. At times disturbing - primarily because you know the events are based in fact, the strength and resilience of the human spirit to overcome the atrocities that can be inflicted on it make it an uplifting and inspiring read.

I loved this book. It is a fascinating insight into the period of the second World War and the years following it in Malaya (now Malaysia). This is an area of history of which I knew little before, but of which I have now become particularly interested. The imagery is very strong - at times you could believe you were in the jungle too. All characters have so many layers to them that you feel they must actually exist somewhere. It has made me want to read more of Tan Twan Eng's writing, so his first book The Gift of Rain is on my 'to read' list.

I would definitely recommend this book and have high hopes that it could go on to win this year's Man Booker Prize.

The Garden of Evening Mists is published by Myrmidon Books and is currently available in trade paperback and ebook editions. Thanks go to the publisher for providing a copy for review and to Jo for reading and reviewing for me!

Goodreads | Amazon | Waterstones

Monday, 20 August 2012

It's Monday! What Are You Reading?

Hosted by Sheila @ Book Journey

Fortnightly updates are working well for me as I seem to be busy alternate Mondays! Been taking part in Bout of Books this past week and trying to avoid The Curse of the Readathon.

Read last fortnight:
Archipelago by Monique Roffey
The Somnambulist by Essie Fox
The Dog Stars by Peter Heller
Shift by Kim Curran
Skylark by Meagan Spooner
Go To Sleep by Helen Walsh

Also reviewed:
13 by Kelley Armstrong

Currently reading:
The Bend in the Sky by D.S. Morgan

Upcoming reads:
Shadows by Ilsa J. Bick

Also on the blog:
What is Visionary Fiction?
Kick-starting my imagination: the adrenalin of inspiration
Stop with the Negativity! | #boutofbooks 5.0
Incoming! | Bout of Books Limerick Challenge
Book Spine Haiku | Incoming!

Search terms:*

"anobium punctatum"
Yes, there are bookworms on this blog.

"don't feed the bad wolf"
He may be nicer if he felt less hungry...

"exaggerations in unbroken?"
This is where I make Shark Face at you.

"funny machinarium"
It is funny...and cute. Go play it!

"turn off captcha"
Please do, I can barely read the Blogger ones these days.

*Idea stolen borrowed from Amanda's Clock Rewinders feature.