Sunday, 18 August 2013

How to Survive a Horror Film

Guest post by James Dawson, author of Hollow Pike and Cruel Summer.

It’s nearly twenty years since the first Scream film arrived in cinemas. Since then post-modern teens in horror have been dissecting the clich├ęs of the genre. Cruel Summer is no different. Early in the novel, main character Ryan notes the remote Spanish villa could be a horror film set and his words prove chillingly accurate. But how to survive a horror film or indeed novel?

1. Check reception
If you’re thinking of taking a rural diversion or having a secluded getaway, just check you can get at least one bar of phone signal. Or at the very least wifi.

2. Don’t put the weapon down
You might think the killer’s dead and yes, you may be disgusted at the gore on your hands, but never EVER cast the weapon aside.

3. Do the head
It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve stabbed or shot the killer’s chest, if the head is intact, they’re coming back.

4. Don’t go into the basement
Because there is evil there.

5. Don’t investigate the ‘strange noise’
Because it is a murderer.

6. Abstain from drink, drugs and sex
This one is less reliable now, but, especially if you’re a girl, it pays to play it safe morally. You have to at least be in some way aspirational to survive.

7. Don’t split up
Does saving five minutes by investigating separately justify the dying? Answer me that.

8. Beware anniversaries
Did something really evil happen one, ten or a hundred years ago? If so GET OUTTA TOWN that weekend.

9. Choose your friends carefully
If one of your chums recently survived a massacre, it seems likely you’ll be drawn into a sequel. Avoid.

10. Avoid third act parties
Parents out of town for the weekend? That’s not a house party, it’s a massacre. Stay home and watch TV.

A big thanks to James for his wise advice. I think we'll all be able to not die now, right? You can follow the Murder on the Beach blog tour using #murderonthebeach and then you should go out and get yourself a copy of the fabulous Cruel Summer.

Follow the tour:
Soul Storm Excerpt (JeanzBookReadNReview)
Cruel Summer First Chapter (Fluttering Butterflies)
Which Cruel Summer character are you? (Death Books and Tea)
Kate Harrison on her Top 5 Detectives (books and Writers JNR)
Watching The Detectives with James Dawson (The Book Stop)
James Dawson and Kate Harrison’s Top 5 Villains (Choose YA)
Musical Moments (Book Angel Booktopia)
Top 5 goodbyes – books (and films?) (Readraptor)
In Defence of Horror (The Pewter Wolf)
In Defence of Suspense (The Pewter Wolf)
Turning Paradise Into Hell (Read, Write and Read Some More)
Bookish butterfly or an author with a theme? (A Dream of Books)
Deleted Scene from James Dawson's Cruel Summer (Thoughts from the Hearthfire)
Soul Fire Deleted Scene
Kate Harrison’s Top Summer Reads (Amy BookWorm)
James Dawson's Cruel Summer Dream Cast (Cicely Loves Books)
The darker side of a writer’s life: sympathising with serial killers (Bookbabblers)
19 AUG Much Loved Books
20 AUG Reading Teenage Fiction
21 AUG Winged Reviews
19 SEP The Book Addicted Girl

5 comments:

  1. Ha, great guest post! I don't get why they ALWAYS SPLIT UP. Why would you do that? Gee, it sounds like an intruder is in my house. I'd rather be alone when I find him hiding somewhere!

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  2. I love it, also don't go upstairs, they always go upstairs!

    Lainy http://www.alwaysreading.net

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  3. Ha! Brilliant.

    I always find myself telling the characters in films or books these things, as if they could hear me or something..., it's the frustration of their idiocy. The of course, this all goes out the window if it's a trilogy.

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  4. I never understood the need to drop the weapon when villians always come back!! Great post - lots of ideas for how to make sure you're a survivor!

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  5. Going into the basement is never worth it. Great post!

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